Circumstances

There is so much in our lives that we can not affect, and on so many different levels.

Lately there has been times when I’ve felt bad about my current life situation, which is me being a mother to a 6-month-old. It’s mostly just small things, like that it takes longer than usual before she falls asleep at night. Yes, it may seem like a tiny problem, but this way I don’t get time for myself in the evening, which I desperately need, being an introvert and all. And in a way, this represents the freedom that I lost when I became a mother. So these moments have really been difficult for me. Also when there’s some event or party we go to, we can´t stay late because the baby gets tired and cranky. And once again I get reminded of that things are not what they used to be.

So it is really a challenge for me to live in the now when things don’t go as I planned and when I feel the restrictions of my current life situation. Luckily, however, I am not alone. I have a husband who can carry (almost) half the load that comes with taking care of a baby, and this way we have both been able to get time for ourselves, and when we go somewhere we make sure to take turns with the baby, so that we can both enjoy the food and the company etc. We also have very helpful friends and family who gladly take the baby off our hands for a while. These moments of relaxation really keep me going for a long time.

And I have had to realize that since we can’t always choose our circumstances, we have to change our mindset and our attitude towards things instead. And have a good sense of humor (when you get pee and poop all over the floor every now and then you really get to practice that skill..)

But then there are circumstances that make my “problems” look like nothing. We live in a fallen world. Every day media reports accidents and acts of violence, and the world is infected with sickness and conflicts. When thinking about these circumstances, I realize how small I am. And I get afraid. Because my husband or my friends do not suffice. And what if something would happen to me, or even worse, to someone I love? Everyone’s worst fear is death. Only thinking about it makes me want to cram myself, my family and my friends in to a bomb shelter and lock the door, just to feel that I have control over the situation.

But we all know that’s not living. So my eyes look up to the sky, and I remember what I’ve read in the Book of Life “Don’t be afraid; just believe.” (Mark. 5:36) The man who said this is the One who defeated my worst fear. He defeated death. And He’s now telling me not to be afraid. “Just believe”, He says. He’s telling me that He suffices. The Bible also says that there is no fear in love, and that love drives out fear (1 John. 4:18). And I get it. Fear keeps me from living fully, it keeps me from receiving all the love and life God is offering me. So, if I choose to not be afraid, and instead just believe, God’s life and love gets a foothold in the world. And that´s just pure awesomeness.

Whatever the circumstances, we have to choose to fully live the life that’s been given to us.  Because ultimately, that is a choice that me and you have to make for ourselves. No one else can do it for us. So, I am thankful for every day I get to wake up to, together with my family, rested and in good health I enjoy this very moment when I get to drink my coffee in all quietness. Even those moments when I feel sad, frustrated and tired, I know that I am fully alive. Because my worst fear has been defeated and I do not need to be afraid. 

And what if I told you the same is true for you?

The original version of the serenity prayer, by Reinhold Niebuhr, pretty much sums all the thoughts above up (many thanks, Wikipedia).

God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.