About priorities and having a heart at rest

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything here, and honestly, that is because I haven’t had anything to post.

 Since we’ve moved up north for the summer, it has taken a while for us to really settle down. Trying to create new routines in a new place with the baby has taken it’s time, and with my husband now working it has been a lot to adjust to. But to be honest, these are only poor excuses. The real reason for me not writing is because I haven’t had my eyes open for what God is doing in my life. Worldly things have distracted me from listening to the voice of the Lord, and distancing oneself from the Source of Life always has consequences.

I’ve felt tense and nervous in a strange way. I’ve often caught myself holding my breath with my shoulders shrugged, as I hurry to do the dishes when the baby is taking a nap. I’ve been bored and felt restless and sad, even if all things have seemed to be in order. I’ve felt empty.

Then one night I figured it out. “Am I really this simple-minded?!” I thought to myselft. Every time in my life when I’ve started feeling this way, it has always been for the same reason: I’ve neglected God. I have neglected prayer and reading the Word, and this is where I end up, feeling tense, restless and empty. When I, once again, realized this, all the pieces fell back into place. I got to praying, and also felt that tomorrow, I needed to open my Bible again. During prayer, I also felt that God wanted me to start with Luke, to remind myself of the basics once again. And so I did. It is amazing how just one missing piece of the puzzle can make such a difference. Or actually, when you think about it, these things are the frame and supporting structure of the puzzle – no wonder it has been difficult to build it lately.

I don’t understand how God has the patience to work with me. It often seems like I go one step forward and then two steps backward. But I guess He sees the bigger picture. Thank God for that! Getting to read the Bible again has given me food for thought every day, and my prayer life has been revived. Being reunited with the Source of Life really breathes new life into me again.

God has also talked to me about my priorities. I like having it nice and neat in the kitchen, preferably no dishes in the sink or food stains on the table. I like having the bed made and fresh flowers in the vase every day. So being a stay-at-home mom and housewife suites me perfectly. However, there is one thing about this work that I really find disturbing: there is no end to it! Every time we eat, I end up with new dishes that need washing, the bed has to be made every morning, and even if I wash clothes almost every other day, the hamper never gets empty. And for a person like me, who likes to check of things from my mental checklist when I get them done, it is hard when certain things never come to an end. A never-ending job almost feels like a nightmare to me.

So a couple of days ago, on Sunday, when the baby was taking her nap, I looked at my home and saw all the things I should get done before she wakes up. But this time it suddenly hit me: does it really matter if I do the dishes or not right now? Is it going to kill someone if I don’t make the bed today? What is it that really matters? And once again I was reminded of what is important in life: loving God, others and myself. So instead of doing any chores, I put on my bikini, grabbed my Bible and another book that I’m reading, and went outside to enjoy the sun.

This was absolutely amazing, so refreshing and calming! I got encouraged and challenged by the Word, I got relaxed and refreshed from enjoying my cup of coffee, and the sun really pampered my skin and my soul with warmth. After I’d spent an hour or so just resting, I started to feel inspired to do something. Since the baby was still sleeping, I figured that maybe I’ll surprise my husband when he comes home from work with a picnic lunch outside on the lawn. I put a big blanket on the lawn and picked a rose from my parent´s rosebushes to decorate with. I went inside to prepare one of our favorite foods, pork ribs and vegetables. Then I also felt that maybe I can make the bed after all, and do the dishes if there’s time. And there was time for all of this, and when I was done the baby woke up.

So do you see what happened? I prioritized rest and chilling with God, and after this, I still had time to do my daily chores, but now feeling rested and at ease. Since I put my priorities straight, my family also benefitted from it: my daughter got to wake up to a happy and rested mother, and my husband got to come home to a wife who had gotten so inspired that she’d arranged a picnic with his favorite dish.

"...and it was good."

This is what I call having a heart at rest. John and Staci Eldregde also write about this in Captivating (yes, it seems that this is my favorite book, and if you haven’t read it yet, you really should!). From this rested state, is where inspiration comes. So if you feel tired, stressed, tense or uninspired, stop for a while and let God take care of your heart. Remind yourself of the truths in His Word, that you are loved and free and created in His image. Talk to Him about your feelings, and don’t forget to listen to what He has to say. Get your priorities straight; rest before work, people before material things and God before everything else.

Hopefully, this post will encourage you to once again set your heart and priorities straight. Know that you can always turn back to God, even if you think or feel that you’ve ran too far away from Him. Know that He will always be there, crying tears of joy when you return to his arms.